mamabealadventures

mamabealadventures
Carole and I ahve speculated that Virginias mental problems started a long time ago, and that some of her strange behavior was simply an attempt to cover it up.
She could be generous from time to time, like she helped all of us out with moneyfor our homes. But if she gave you something of sentimental value, you might as well not unpack it because she would invariably want it back. If she did not like something you gave her, it would eventually be returned to you.
WE finally came up with the formula for having Virginia visit. i would pick her up at the temple and drive her home to our house. I made sure we had plenty of toilet paper, and I mean plenty. She used it for everything: drying her hands wiping up spills etc. and ofcourse we had to have lots of orange juice. Eventually we got so that she would get her own breakfast, because she had very specific foods she wanted to eat. Monday morning before work Richard would drive her home. It worked well and prevented a lot of unpleasant situations, because you knew when the visit would come to an end. Carole started to do the same, make the reservations for her so she stayed as long as George and Carole wanted her to stay and not a month at a time.
Her reasoning was rather different too. She told me she had cancelled her drivers license when Robert didn't get his. Ofcourse that meant tha Max had to do all the driving, and he ended up doing all the grocery sopping too. Just what he needed with his busy schedule. While we were living with her shile waiting for our house to be built, richard and I were sitting in the library, and grandmother was upstairs. the children were all playing in the street. It was a nice quiet street. she came in to the library and said: " I don't suppose that you want to know that the children are letting Quincy roll down the street in his stroller without anyone guiding it?" Why had she not run out to stop it immidiately instead of coming to tell us first?
She always procrastinated till the last minute. when Grandfather got a Fullbright to Norway, grandmother was supposed to get things packed and ready for the trip. the last day before they left Grandfather came home to find that nothing had been done. So he and the boys had to carry all the furniture up into the attick, because they were renting the house out and get the car packed. It was late in to the night before they were done. they drove up to New York where they were to take the boat to Oslo. In New York grandfather got sick. They think he had a small stroke. Richard said he never regained his former agility after that.
Grandmother would ask me to send measurements of the children so she could make them an outfit. I sent them and I even sent a pattern, but nothing came of it, so eventually when she would ask for that sort of things I would ignore it.
In those days people did not admit if anything was wrong with them mentally, and it seems apparent to all of us that something was wrong. we all somehow learned to live with it, but how much nicer it would have been if we could have had a much less strained relation ship.
There were things we enjyed doing together. Grandmother loved china dn beautiful table linens. and we could have a good time going out and looking at that sort of thing. she loved the dishes I had bought for our home and we could spend much time together talking about what table linens would look good with them etc. She is the one who got me interested in the Red Aves Dishes. We also developed the tradition of going shopping the day after thanksgiving for the children, and we would end the shopping day by going to one of the pizza places in the mall. We also could share books we read. One time I had read this book about a mideval woman, and I thought grandmother would like it I lent it to her. Next time she came over she was so excited about the book and talked a lot about it. I don't think grandmother liked to take responsibility, and it was probably because she was afraid whether she could handle it. She tended to get upset to her stomach when she was under pressure. She simply couldn't handle it.
She also had a funny view of priesthood authority. She always claimed her brother was her priesthood authority, not her husband or sons. When Richard and I got married we ofcourse wanted his parents to be there. Well grandmother made a fuss about how they couldn't afford to travel to Utah and pay for the wedding breakfast. We had invited a total of 27 people at $6 per head. So for some time we did not know whether his parents would come. then his mother decided that her parents were getting old and she had better get out and see them. So as side event she would come to our wedding. She hurt richard a lot that way. They never came for his graduation even though he got two degrees in one. But they did come for both Roberts and Georges graduation. Fortunately Richard's dad made up it. He arrived a day before the wedding and you could just wee in his countenance how pleased he was, and he was excited to bring us a couple of suitcases full of present from their friends in college park.
I think that is enough to give you a general view.
My hope is that Virginia will now have the full function of her mental capacities so she will be able to be the person she was not always able to be here on earth.