alone Again Temporarily

I thought it was about time, I updated my blog. It has been an eventful summer. I played hostess to Brian Beal, Bob and Kays son for a week and showed him around Washington DC. In the middle of his visit Q, N and P arrived, and I am sure made thing more lively for Brian. Also in the middle of his visit the clutch on my car went out and I had to take it in to be repaired. $2300 later I had it back and could return the very economical car I had rented.
Brian left, and Q, N, and P-man stayed. They are moving back here permanently and will stay with me for an undetermined length of time till they find an apartment. I enjoy having them at my house. It is nice to have it more lively, and P-man is such a cheerfull and happy baby. You can't look at him without smiling. Q and N basically have the downstairs level as their living quarters. We take turns cooking and I think it is working out well.
On the third of August I thought J and H were coming home so we all went to the airport to meet them. M came down with her four. So we stood there for 2 hours with our cute sign and made many passengers happy. But ours did not come off the plane. Finally after checking with KLM I found out they were not coming till the following day. They just forgot to tell us. We did find them the next day. A week later we all went to the beach. A total of 20 people. We had a great time. The weather was wonderful and the beach was very smooth. There was a pool at the house and the children really made use of it, and the hot tub. I don't have any pictures because my camera broke, just as we were ready to leave home. It was nice to see Trevor again. It has been a long time since he was last at the beach with us.
J and H are busy fixing their house up and the boys are getting aclimated both to new surroundings and a lot of relatives.
I had friends from Wales come in on Labor day. Unfortunately N had left earlier in the day to go out for her sisters wedding. It was very nice to see Pat and Garwin again. We have always been received very graciously by them when we have visited them, so it was great to be allowed to recipricate. Monday evening I came home from a walk, my guests had gone to bed early, due to the time change. I wondered where Q was. Soon after I heard voices and it was Q and J coming up the stairs. I had just filled the fruit bowl with fruit including grapes. While they were talking in the kitchen I watched the grapes disappear as if there was a termite infestation. I thought This is just like old times. I am really greatful to have two of my children living so close to me so we can have get- to- gethers or just pop- in for a few minutes.
Tuesday I had tickets for Pat Garwin, and me to visit Hillwood estate. I have wanted to visit it for a long time. It is the home of Marjorie Merriweather Post. The heiress to the Post cereal fortune. It was a delightful experience. She had a very unique opportunity to purchase many Russian artifacts when her husband was ambassador to Russia. I would like to go again and have a guided tour. We used the headsets this time in the interest of time. After lunch in a small cafe on the grounds, we wandered through the gardens. My favorite was the Japanese style garden. We also stopped so they could see the World war Two Memorial.
When we got home we took Q to the airport so he could go to the wedding. That evening, My 44th anniversary coming to this country we went with J and H to dinner at our favorite Indian restaurant. Jason paid for us all which was not my intention. But he was very kind.
Wednesday I drove Pat and Garwin down to Lexington where they were going to stay with some friends. I had never been there before, but it looks like a very quaint little town. Ihad to go home the same day though since I had work the next day, and that is where I am now. It was strange to come home to an empty house after all the company I have had lately. But Q and N will be back in a couple of weeks and P-man. This summer has been very hot and very dry. My garden has been a disappointment. But I guess they were hording all the rain and cool temperatures in England. wouldn't it be nice if we could share a little. Tomorrow hopefully I will get on the morning plane to go upfor theresas birthday party. Unfortunately the flight doesn't look good.

Relaxing after a hard day at church.

Reading Hans Christian Andersen in De. Sunday afternoon after church.

An unexpected hail storm in June covered my flower beds like mulch. M was down with all four children for a quick visit, and it was quite a treat for all of us to see this spectacle of nature. For lunch we went to Wegmans , and that was a fun experience for all of us.





The M&M children have their first experience of amazing Wegmans grocery store.













The 9th of June I went up to See M&M because Trevor was visiting. One of the things we did was visit a beautiful park not far from their home. the children took turns riding bikes and the adults walked. Bears finally gort her turn with the bike.












After a while I decide to take the easy way out and shared the double stroller with DD. What fun to have some one do all the work for you. Babies don't realize how well off they are.















On the 16th of June, I went to New Bedford to help Marge and Don celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary. For those of you who don't know, this is a family that treated me as an older daughter, first at the end of my exchange year and then again when I lived in Boston. Marge has been very sick lately, so they were happy to see she was around to celebrate this important occation. It was fun to see every body again.













My favorite Aunt Astrid Petersen turned 100 years old on the 8th of June. Her Daughter in law, two grand daughters and 6 grand children were on hand to celebrate this big birthday. Many friends also made the effort to come and visit her. It was a very nice day and it was amazing that she was able to stay awake for the whole afternoon. She is legally blind and very hard of hearing, but somehow she always knows what is going on. There is nothing wrong with her mind. I think her big birthday wish was that she would die soon. She is very lonely and misses her husband and son very much. I am glad I was able to be there. My trip home can only be described as an answer to my prayers. How many times have you been 3 hours late for a flight and found the flight waiting for you? Amazing.

The two pictures of babies are on the left Faster Astrids Great Grand son and on the right m y grandson. I just thing it is funny how much they look alike.
I cant get in to put the text by the appropriate pictures, so let me just say that the last two pictures of M&C' family and the Irises are from my visit to the Nuz family over memorial day week end. One of the things we did was go to a beautiful Iris garden and this is only one example of what they had to offer.

H , E and J at the fort.

J and R at Emirates Hotel for birthday dinner
Burge Dubai
Emirate Towers
Favorite mosque
Street in Al Ain an old oasis

Getting educated buying rugs

The street where we live

Jebel Hafeet

Old Royal Palace in Al Ain

My first Camel ride

Camels in the desert

Fort in Oman

Old fort in Abu Dhabi only permanebt building in 1960

Dessert Sunset

Falconer and falcon

Dubai shopping

Boys playing in dining room

E and C making a living room out of my shower

Virginia Christmas 2006

mamabealadventures
I couldn't figure out how to add to my draft so I am doing the text part to the pictures. Lest you think I am great at putting in pictures--- the credit goes to Melinda.
Christmas started for me when Quincy and Natalie said they were planning to come home for christmas. Then I had to get Melinda and Emily and families to come too, because I thought it would be very boring for Natalie and Quincy to spend it just with me.
They arrived late on 20 Dec. after a good nights sleep and a good breakfast we went out to Mount Vernon. It was a surprise to see what they had done. They have built a reception area similar to Williamsburg with an introductory film. It was very nice and a far cry from the old entrance. Ofcourse the house is still the same. We basicallv just saw the house and the view. Natalie was not up to a lot of walking and frankly neither was I. It is the wrong time of year to see the outlying buildings and the farm. That is best left to the summer time. But it was fun to see it at Christmas.
We went home and had a leisurely dinner, and a friendly game of chinese checkers which Natalie won. We also put the tree up and got it decorated. The next day Melinda and Emily arrived with their families, so we had a full house. I got the sofa by choise. I was glad all the US grandchildren were there, because they play so well together. Saturday night we had our usual crabcake dinner, and afterwards we tried to make vanilla cookies. We had to stop because it was so warm the dough kept softening up so we couldn't work with it. Ii forgot to say that we have had an unusual warm December. We had to turn the heat off all together for everyone to feel comfortable.
Sunday was Christmas eve and we had church all three hours. As usual we had a wonderful program in sacrament meeting. Nathan Pacheco started it off and it was a beautiful number. We could all have gone home after that and left edified. I left after teaching my lesson to get home and get dinner ready, so we could eat early and not have the children get too tired before the evening was over. This is the first time when all the children except the baby sat at the big table, and they didn't leave after 5 min. Matt and Emily got the almonds.
Afterwards we had a nice program with every family participating. Then downstairs for the highlight for the children "opening presents" I think everyone was happy with what they got. Thanks to my new camera I was able to get these pictures to illustrate the blog. My teeth are cleaner with the waterpick, and Trevor saw to it that I will not be sporting unwanted hair on my face with the new magnifying mirror, and I have wonderful lotion to keep my skin smooth, and cd's and vidios to keep me company. I was very happy with what I got.
We were planning to maybe play games after the children got to bed, but I think some of the adults fell asleep right along with the children they were trying to get to sleep. But we had a nice time visiting.
Then we got the Santa Presents ready and went to bed. We had to get up very early the next morning so Quincy and Natalie could get to their plane and Melinda and Matt could get to his family for their Christmas.
Fortunately Emily and Carl were able to stay for a couple more days. We had the Becksteads over for dinner, and I think they enjoyed that. The last day Emily and I went to G-Street to get material for the baby quilt for Natalie and Quincys baby. After everyone left I spent a couple of days recovering. It is great having everyone here, but I can tell it takes a lot more out of me than it used to. But it is always great to have the good memories. Thank you for coming everyone.

Virginia Christmas 2006

mamabealadventures

mamabealadventures
Carole and I ahve speculated that Virginias mental problems started a long time ago, and that some of her strange behavior was simply an attempt to cover it up.
She could be generous from time to time, like she helped all of us out with moneyfor our homes. But if she gave you something of sentimental value, you might as well not unpack it because she would invariably want it back. If she did not like something you gave her, it would eventually be returned to you.
WE finally came up with the formula for having Virginia visit. i would pick her up at the temple and drive her home to our house. I made sure we had plenty of toilet paper, and I mean plenty. She used it for everything: drying her hands wiping up spills etc. and ofcourse we had to have lots of orange juice. Eventually we got so that she would get her own breakfast, because she had very specific foods she wanted to eat. Monday morning before work Richard would drive her home. It worked well and prevented a lot of unpleasant situations, because you knew when the visit would come to an end. Carole started to do the same, make the reservations for her so she stayed as long as George and Carole wanted her to stay and not a month at a time.
Her reasoning was rather different too. She told me she had cancelled her drivers license when Robert didn't get his. Ofcourse that meant tha Max had to do all the driving, and he ended up doing all the grocery sopping too. Just what he needed with his busy schedule. While we were living with her shile waiting for our house to be built, richard and I were sitting in the library, and grandmother was upstairs. the children were all playing in the street. It was a nice quiet street. she came in to the library and said: " I don't suppose that you want to know that the children are letting Quincy roll down the street in his stroller without anyone guiding it?" Why had she not run out to stop it immidiately instead of coming to tell us first?
She always procrastinated till the last minute. when Grandfather got a Fullbright to Norway, grandmother was supposed to get things packed and ready for the trip. the last day before they left Grandfather came home to find that nothing had been done. So he and the boys had to carry all the furniture up into the attick, because they were renting the house out and get the car packed. It was late in to the night before they were done. they drove up to New York where they were to take the boat to Oslo. In New York grandfather got sick. They think he had a small stroke. Richard said he never regained his former agility after that.
Grandmother would ask me to send measurements of the children so she could make them an outfit. I sent them and I even sent a pattern, but nothing came of it, so eventually when she would ask for that sort of things I would ignore it.
In those days people did not admit if anything was wrong with them mentally, and it seems apparent to all of us that something was wrong. we all somehow learned to live with it, but how much nicer it would have been if we could have had a much less strained relation ship.
There were things we enjyed doing together. Grandmother loved china dn beautiful table linens. and we could have a good time going out and looking at that sort of thing. she loved the dishes I had bought for our home and we could spend much time together talking about what table linens would look good with them etc. She is the one who got me interested in the Red Aves Dishes. We also developed the tradition of going shopping the day after thanksgiving for the children, and we would end the shopping day by going to one of the pizza places in the mall. We also could share books we read. One time I had read this book about a mideval woman, and I thought grandmother would like it I lent it to her. Next time she came over she was so excited about the book and talked a lot about it. I don't think grandmother liked to take responsibility, and it was probably because she was afraid whether she could handle it. She tended to get upset to her stomach when she was under pressure. She simply couldn't handle it.
She also had a funny view of priesthood authority. She always claimed her brother was her priesthood authority, not her husband or sons. When Richard and I got married we ofcourse wanted his parents to be there. Well grandmother made a fuss about how they couldn't afford to travel to Utah and pay for the wedding breakfast. We had invited a total of 27 people at $6 per head. So for some time we did not know whether his parents would come. then his mother decided that her parents were getting old and she had better get out and see them. So as side event she would come to our wedding. She hurt richard a lot that way. They never came for his graduation even though he got two degrees in one. But they did come for both Roberts and Georges graduation. Fortunately Richard's dad made up it. He arrived a day before the wedding and you could just wee in his countenance how pleased he was, and he was excited to bring us a couple of suitcases full of present from their friends in college park.
I think that is enough to give you a general view.
My hope is that Virginia will now have the full function of her mental capacities so she will be able to be the person she was not always able to be here on earth.

mamabealadventures

mamabealadventures
My reflections on Grandmother Beal;
When a person dies you always examine your relationship to that person. It is hard when you have not had the kind of relationship with the deceased person you would like to have had.
When we were at the funeral in Seattle I got a few more puzzle pieces to understand grandmother. A phychologist in their ward said grandmother had The Queen syndrome. That means she deigns that you can be in her presence or speak to her. I have many times in the past said that having grandmother for a visit was like having The queen Mother visiting. When you had a conversation with grandmother it was not a coversation, but an interview. She as ked the questions and you answered. Sometimes if you succeeded in asking her a question, she would have very pat answers for you. She did not like getting questions she did not have ready answers for. She loved to talk about her, but as far as I know she never did any genealogic research. She had some stories she told about her ancestors, but if you went outside her parameters, she would become dumb.
Virginia was a very intelligent woman. She loved to read and travel. But somehow all the knowledge she gained, she was not able to transfer into action or meaningful contributions. She was one of those people where she felt that ifmshe was the overdog she would treat you awful, but if she felt like she was the underdog she would bow and scrape. She was a snob and a hyopcrite. Her husband and Richard always tried to be nice to her, which she persived as having the upper hand, and consequently their relation ships were not always very good. I have only one time stood up to her, and after that I couldn't do anything wrong. I only wish I had done it much earlier in our relationship. The reason I didn't is that I don't like having that kind of relationship with anyone.
The other puzzle piece I found in Seattle was that in a conversation with her visiting teacher, she said it was like Virginia was two people. I have felt that often. We could have a pleasant enough "conversation" and if you happened to say a wrong word, it was like a switch was turned on and she turned in to another person, usually a nasty one. After you have tried that a few times you become cautious, and watch very carefully what you say. She had great difficulty making decisions and it could be very embarrasing to go shopping with her when she would take several hours to make up her mind about a purchase. She also could not handle complicated tasks. she definitely could not multitask, and soon when she would ask the obligatory question what can I do to help the answer would be: Why don't you just sit and talk to me while I am fixing dinner. She much preferred to sit in the front room. she did not seem to have a very good concept of time and what needed to be done. Like when richard had his surgery, and I came home after a whole day at the hospital, she would say: Now why don't you come and sit in the front room and tell me all about it. Well that would have been nice if I had a maid to cook and look after the children. but I had to fix dinner for the children and see to their needs as well, so could we transfere this to the kitchen while I also take care of my children.
I never liked to tell her my inner feelings or anything intimate, because you never knew when she would throw it back at you when she went in to her nasty personality.
She had funny ways of doing things. She painted the walls but painted around the furniture. she made drapes but hung them up with safety pins. Most of the sewing she did was never completely finished. I think she was only capable of doing one task at a time. I presume there was a time when she could.
They did not have family prayer in richards home and after witnesing one such exception I could see why. Virginia gave a very long prayer and it was so hypocritical.

mamabealadventures

mamabealadventures

mamabealadventures

mamabealadventures
I had just written a whole account of the funeral and had gone on to reflexions on grandmother when I lost it all. So here we go again.
As you all know Richard's mother passed away on 9 November , 2006 in woodinville Wa. She had live there the last 14 years.
I flew out on Friday to see if I could be of some help to Carole with arranging everything about the funeral and all the cousins that were coming. As is was all the grandchildren except Jason( who was in Abu Dhabi) and 2 great grandchildren showed up during the week end, which kept George busy driving to the airport to pick them up. Carole and I went to the florist on Saturday and picked out a beautiful spray for the coffin in assorted white flowers which we hoped Virginia would like. After that we went to the funeral home to dress the body in temple clothes. I had offered to do this since I felt it was one thing I could do. Carole and I had a prayer before we went in. I had kind of dreaded the task as I have never had to do this before. But it turned out to be a very nice experince, and I hope Virginia felt we did it with love and respect. I felt it was the last service we could do for her. Carole had had a hard time finding the temple clothes. When we looked in the box we found several pieces of clothing with the stamp of the temple on them. Obviously a long term loan. We had a hard time locating true white nylons and finally agreed that off white would have to do. I had ironed all her clothes , but we left her dress the way it was with the loose lace attached with safety pins, because that is how she wore it when she was living. We got everything to look very nice.
George had a very hard time realizing that it was finally over with his mother, and he had trouble making decisions about what had to be done like the program etc. Carole and I mapped it out and then gave it to him for final approval. We got it done. Our family stayed at grandmothers house. It was a good experience, and gave us an opportunity to look through her things. I know that sounds terrible, but as Trevor put it, it was a very liberating feeling. When she was a live you never felt like you could ask her about her things, and parts of her house were kind of off limits. Sunday morning I had trouble sleeping so I got up and organized all her china and silverware according to patterns. Aalso to sort of see just how much there was to go through. It gave me peace of mind, and I felt that clearing her things up would not be that difficult. We also had a good time going through her pictures. Trevor had the task of making a collection of pictures for the foyer in the church. We found a lot of pictures we had never seen before. It was fun to come across a picture of Virginia dressed as a flapper, and a glamour girl. A whole different view on her.
We enjoyed the time we had to spend with the other Beal cousins. When we get together and realize how much fun we have we always wonder why we don't do it more often.
Carole had planned some fun meals that everyone could help prepare so we had a lot of good kitchen talk.
On Monday there was a viewing from 10-12. There was a family prayer offered by Quincy, and Carole and I finished putting on the veil and the casket was closed.
The funeral itself went very well. George said he did not want to talk as he felt everything he would say would be an apology. Gill gave the eulogy. It was long and can best be described as a travel log with the theme: "She was always there to meet us" he did permit him self one humerous anecdote: One time when they were together Beth was playing on Grandmother's organ. Grandmother came in and said: "Would you play my favorite: " How Great I am?" We were glad to hear that, as we had chosen "How Great Thou art" for one of the songs at the funeral.
Grandmother's visiting teacher of 14 years asked to talk at her funeral and she did a marvelous job. She was able in a loving way to talk about Grandmothers peculiarities with out sounding critical. She would say: she like to display her pictures around the floor. We could all fill in the unspoken words. One story I liked was when she talked about taking grandmother shopping. She said she would come to her house to pick her up and grandmother would be in her black skirt and blouse and black raincoat. Black shoes and a shopping bag with her black handbag and an alarm clock inside. They would go to the mall and agree on a time and place to meet. So grandmother would set her alarm clock so she would be on time. Then they would go their separate ways till it was time to meet again. She said on one of those trips when she got a call from a clerk in a store that grandmother could not remember where to meet, that it would be their last shopping trip. That was when grandmother started to loose her memory. There was an organ solo. Then Melinda representing the grandchildren spoke. She did a great and loving job too, and I hope you have all had an opportunity to read her talk. The bishop spoke last and he too did a great job. Most of the family was represented on the program in one way or another. David Smith, and Stepen Smith both came from the east coast. 3 of Gills children came and Beth, grandmothers sister. After the funeral there was a luncheon provided by the relief society complete with funeral potatoes and several varieties of Jell-O. The food was very good.
When we got back to the George and Caroles, George pulled the grandchildren and me aside and told us about the disposition of the will. He stressed a couple of times that there was nothing worth getting in a fight over. I agree. Basically he wanted all the grand- children to give him a list of anything they would like from grandmother things, and we would try to share it according to monetary and sentimental value and try to do it as equitable as possible. The only thing grandmother left was her house. It is paid in full. repairs need to be done before it can be sold, and the value will be split evenly among George, Robert and me.
Tuesday morning I left with Quincy and Trevor and flew with them to Salt Lake. Marni met me at the airport and Susan was kind enough to put me up at her house. Wednesday she drove me up to Fielding for the burial. There was a nice turnout here as well. Robert and Kay, and their children and grandchildren except John, who is in Central America. Several of grandmothers Nieces and Nephews showed up. the surprice guest was Rosslyn Beckstead and her children. I am sure she had hoped to see some of you guys. She had read about the funeral in the paper and decided it was our family.
After the burial there was a nice get-to-gether at Gills. Gill also gave us copies of a book he has been writing about his Danish ancestors.
I flew home the next day.
I am going to stop here and do another entry about my reflexions on grandmother.